This Just In.........

I'm still fat

It's About Time

The wait is over. After 20 years in the gaming industry, the "Madden" NFL football series from EA Sports has finally produced a cover that 5A, myself, and John Madden himself (needless to say) have been waiting for. The legendary Brett Favre has called it quits after 16 seasons as starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, and he is now being honored by being named the cover athlete for Madden 2009. Although a definite honor, many have considered this to be more of a nightmare over the years. "The Madden Curse" has ended players' seasons for close to a decade now as we all know, and it would not be crazy to suggest that maybe John Madden had an agreement in his contract with EA stating that Favre would never be made subject to this curse by putting him on the cover. Mr. Madden's obsession with Favre has been borderline psychotic in the eyes of many, so this scenario would be fairly feasible in all actuality.

This is the first time a non-active player has been chosen as the cover athlete, so it could also be an attempt by EA Sports to end the curse before litigations take over, causing the company to go out of business. Regardless, this is a dream come true for me. Many wet dreams are in the making for 5-A as well, as this game has been our ultimate "standoff" medium over the years. Now our hero will be staring us in the face as we play.

Jay and Pigott Random Tradition #15- "Bringing Each Other Beer While We're In the Middle of Singing Karoake"

As I said, this one took place at Chip's wedding, while I was singing "Dixieland Delight". The beauty of this tradition is that not only our both of us generous in bringing the other fella his beer while he's singing, but we also can grab the beer while we're singing and never miss a beat. The funniest part of it all is that we grab the beer from the other like it's SUPPOSED to happen. We just walk up, give em the beer, and sit our ass back down- it's that simple. Not much to this one except tradition. However, Jay and I have made beer and microphone go hand in hand.

The First International Adventure- Canada 1998

The summer of 1998 took our two heroes to the land of the Great North- Niagara Falls and Toronto, Canada. This trip was our Cornerstone Choir Tour and was planned by Rob Thomas, who unfortunately, did not make the trip because he had taken a job in Hendersonville, Tennessee. The trip was led by the wonderful Eva Hart and Randy Von Kanel, and everyone's least favorite music couple, Andy and Amy Swanner. Just imagine someone who had nothing to do with your group all year long and then all of a sudden just shows up trying to run things and then treats you like your in 7th grade.....lots of fun.

Anyway, the trip started with just 8 of us leaving on a separate flight that apparently, for booking reasons was easier to do. We got delayed and had to wait for the bus, but right there, in Toronto, Jay Money, along with Chip, Cooper, Alec, and myself wrote, composed, and performed our cult classic, "The Root Song". On the same trip, we would several remix versions that would include Blake adding a a part as well as Lee Boy adding a part. The tradition of the root song still lives, but the true greatest root song moment is yet to come.....stay tuned.

Jay Money and I had our obligatory root bed together and roomed with everyone's favorite drummer Lee Boy and Matt Davis, a new comer. Eventhough they weren't in our room, Blake and Cooper soon brought us hilarious news that was also something that would live on to this day in 5A and 5-Jay lore. Apparently, in the Dallas Airport, Jeremy Gray had stolen some porn in the airport bookstore. When caught with it in the hotel, he was confronted by Dave Westerfield, who was also an adult on the trip. Instead of facing his crime like a man, he quickly pinned it on Cooper. While Cooper didn't get in trouble, this is quite possibly the hardest I ever laughed in my life just laughing at the idea of Cooper getting in trouble.

We performed several concerts in the Niagara/Buffalo area throughout the week, and besides Andy's shenanigans, this trip was very enjoyable for comedic value, and was also some of my personal favorite songs and performances we had. Everyone's favorite explosive bowel, Chip Boyd, had struck up a romance with a local resident named Tabitha. Not only were they blatantly in freaking love, they lied about it. Chip also didn't make any comments like he did the previous summer in Wyoming, but he definitely was spotted by Cooper in the hotel lobby looking at porn with Jeremy Gray.......SMART!

The second or third day, before going on the Maid of the Mist boat to see Niagara Falls, we went to the colonial tourist city of Niagara-on-the-Lake. This BEAUTIFUL small city, which was the original capital of Canada, was also the site of one of my most famous short-lived catchphrases to date. While trip flirt and hottie Leah was hitting on ANOTHER guy, she bent over, and I looked at Jay and just simply said "all day!". You'd have to be there to understand.

Anyway, after a long week of singing, "prayer walking", eating, farting, rooting, and fun, the trip came to an end with a wild day in Toronto. First, Jay, Blake, Alec, Cooper, Chip, and I all went to the hockey hall of fame in downtown Toronto. While we there, Jay and I took pictures next to the Stanley Cup. So, for a few seconds, we were champions. After goofing off for a few hours there, the night and trip culminated with Jay, Me, Chris Doremus, Ben Burkett, and *cough* Chip Boyd going to the SkyDome (now called the Rogers Centre) to see the Toronto Blue Jays take on the Anaheim Angels, but like always, Pigott stole the show. I danced between every half inning, and much to the chagrin of some drunk guys from Boston, I was the highlight of the evening. Once again, I was the hit of the night in the stands. Dave Westerfield even called it "the funniest thing I've ever seen." After heckling Mo Vaughn and Shannon Stewart, it was time for the grand finale. All of us, except for Chip, thank God took our shirts off and danced the night away the entire 9th inning. No one said anything to us, and if they would have, my excuse would have been, "sorry, we're Americans, we didn't know." Like I said, Jay started the trip with a classic moment, he also ended with one. He looked down during a pause in the action and then screamed "MY UNDERWEAR IS SHOWING!", a line he still uses with the same playful tone today. After a night of throwing water out the window and throwing coins at cars out the window, it was time to go home. Jay and I wouldn't have another trip again until the already mentioned trip to Houston. What a segue.

Oh yeah, let me add that Jay and Chip met R and B superstar Mya in the Atlanta airport, Chip didn't know who she was. Anyway, she's so sexy, I'll give her her own space on the website. Hats off to ya, Mya, I salute ya.

5A and 5-Jay Send Chip Into the Land of Being Married- July 1, 2006

There's the happy couple. Our good buddy Chip and his wife Virginia right after they got married at their reception at the State Realtors Building in Flowood. However, since me and Jay were in the house, you know this would be no ordinary wedding reception. First of all, anytime there's beer, food, and music, you know Pigott will not be able to resist any of the three. However, way before we got to this point, Jay and I had already started raising hell. First of all, let me give Cooper some credit. We were told at the rehearsal that there was a no alcohol policy in the church. Being the good person that I am, I kept to this policy and didn't bring anything in the church. However, Cooper thought nothing of it and pulled it out behind Dr. Aquila's back while he was talking to us just to hide it away right as the reverend turned around. Even before this, I was laughing at Jay just because his mother, the famous Charlotte Hudson decided she wanted to "get Jay's chin" after he was done shaving and sliced a fucking artery in poor Jay's neck leaving blood stains on his shirt. Needless to say, the red contrasted the yellow ties and vests alot thus making Jay the odd man out. Anyhow, after a short ceremony in which the two young bucks exchanged vows, it was time to party. First, Jay, Lee, Anna and I had to pose for a quick photo, but then it was off to the party of a lifetime- free food, free beer, and dancing. I mean seriously, do two guys need anything else to be happy? Well, once the food was brought out, I threw off my tux jacket and I dashed across the room like a kid on christmas morning. However, this was after the dumbass DJ called me "Greg Pie-go". Ya know I told him TO HIS FACE how to say my name and he still fucked it up? What a moron! Oblivious to the small children who were waiting patiently in line to eat something, I simply broke in line and shoved them aside to fulfill my own hunger. When Virginia's little cousin tried to get up near the food and looked at me funny when I broke in line, I said very politely, "what? I'm fat!". While I was off doing this, Jay was off surveying the beer area patiently waiting for Bill and Charlotte to leave. While we ate, sat, talked, and discussed, Bill all of a sudden pretended he was a lifelong friend of the Aquilas and then promptly left and mumbled something to them that no one could understand as he and Charlotte left leaving me and Jay to our own devices. By this time, I was on beer #2, but Jay being the champion he is would need little time to catch up. By this time, I was steadily drinking free miller lite in front of several of our church members, kids, and people like Brett Mayfield who were leaders in our youth group when were younger.......CARED! It's a party boy, so you have to act like it's a party. Shortly after this, I began my famous "Pigottrena" dance to the Macarena, and even though everyone says otherwise, I WAS NOT DRUNK at this point- that would come later, on the cha cha song. Anyway, Jay and Chip were busy taking pictures of themselves drinking and catching up in a great big hurry to Pigott because we all know that in our tag team, I'm the eater, and Jay is the drinker. However, when there's music playing and people dancing, Pigott gets loose- as you can obviously see. Anyway, the day was topped off with me eating 2 or 3 more plates which led to Cooper calling me out as being fat in the best man's toast- usually I would care, but Cooper was only stating the obvious, so I can't get upset. This led me to need more liquid in my system because of more food. The whole crowd was then entertained by my rendition of the Charlie Brown dance on several songs that had no business being danced to in that manner. However, the highlight of the reception was me getting my drunk ass on the mic to sing "Dixieland Delight" to everyone. To top it off, Jay Money did random tradition #15, and being an obedient little Pigott, I took the beer without missing a beat, took a sip, and kept on singing, but seriously, I was singing for the new couple. After a long day of standing, sweating, singing, eating, drinking, eating, drinking, and dancing, it was time for all of us to go our separate ways again, and for Pigott to go to Tennessee. Here's to you Chip and Virginia, we salute ya.

This Just In....

Happy birthday to General 5A- I'm the man

Jay and Pigott Random Tradition #19 - "Going to Hard Rock Cafe"

Ok let's be honest for a second- this tradition started just because we wanted to eat at a place we never get to eat at. Because for two fatasses like us (especially me) our bellies really need a new kinda food sometime so it doesn't get spoiled on one kinda food. Me and Jay (even if we aren't together), ALWAYS make it a point of EMPHASIS to go to Hard Rock Cafe. This all started with our trip to Atlanta (with the Atlanta Hard Rock Cafe pictured here) when we tradition!". The great thing is that being in the Jay and Pigott law's, that's all that you need to officially deem something a tradition. Anyway, many people have joined in on this tradition realized that we had been to several Hard Rock Cafe's together and we just said "it's awith us, but the one in Atlanta will always be the one dear to our heart just due to the sentimental value of eating our asses so many times there and being the birthplace of such a hallowed tradition. However, besides Atlanta, Jay and I have been to Hard Rock's in Houston and in Niagara Falls. He doesn't know it yet, but when he comes up here, we will go to Hard Rock Cafe in downtown Nashville just to keep the tradition going. My true hope is that one day me and Jay can walk into the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi, MS and take this tradition truly to the next level.

Fantasy Update

Well folks, Pigott and Jay are both hanging fantasy with Jay at 4-0 and Pigott at 3-1. Jay takes on the mediocre Carolina this week, while Pigott will take on #2 International Playas. After Pigott's upset of Alphamen last week, he carries alot of momentum into week 5 and what should be the game of the week. Stay tuned for further developments in this very competitive season.

Pigott and Jay Both Come Away with Wins in Week 2

Well after our much publicized battle in week 1, dubbed "Bare Head Bowl I", Jay and I strapped it on for a tough week 2 of fantasy. Being more of allies this week, we gave each other even bigger "best of luck to ya's", and even aided each other in transactions during the week. In a crucial and pivotal game, I was matched up with my boss here at Austin Peay, David Davenport. In a game that was alot closer than I expected, I came away with a 784-700 win that was largely due to the big games by Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. With a lackluster performance from other members of my team, the two QB's combined for nearly 300 points. David put up a last ditch effort with a solid peformance from Fred Taylor on Monday Night Football against the Steelers, but his inability to get in the endzone sealed the much needed victory for Pigott's tough hard nosed squad. Jay, on the other hand, was once again dominant. Paced by a 4 TD/0 sack performance from Rex Grossman and a 350 yard/3 TD from Brett Favre, Titletown was back up to his old tricks routing International Playas 907-691. This sets the stage for Jay to have this weeks' marquee matchup with the #2 team in the league, Dem Dirty Dogs. In a game that could vault me into the top 5, I take on No Chance who is playing without QB Phillip Rivers, who has a bye week.